Correct communication is the key to any relationship. Relationships break down when communication starts to break down.
Conflict occurs because people believe they are to decide what to do and do not ask God, their ruler, what to do. It also occurs because people are afraid to leave their current view on a matter and embrace new things because of a fear they have such as:
Fear of failure
Fear of being inadequate to do what is asked of them
Fear of what would happen if they are wrong
Fear of rejection if they accept the new thing
Fear of authority so they are afraid to give up what they know for something new
Fear of not correctly understanding of what is being communicated
Other reasons are
Rebellion against God
A lack of understanding of what is being communicated
indifference to what is being communicated
Lack of understanding what is being communicated so they reject it
Not understanding how to respond to the communication
For communication to succeed both people must start from the same position of understanding on the subject being discussed or they will not really understand what the other is trying to communicate. This means the person who knows more than the other person they are communicating with must start at the level of understanding the other person has and must give any information needed to bring the other person to a level of understand that communication can begin with.
This is why you should never argue, reason, react or assume things in a communication because Satan uses them to cause problems, but you should ask The Holy Spirit what to do when you are in disagreement or do not understand what the other person is trying to communicate.
Communication is hindered, stopped or prevented when you are afraid to tell the other person something because they fear what the other person will do.
There should be no fear in love and The Holy Spirit will tell you what to say so proper communication will occur and Satan cannot successfully place wrong thoughts and fears in your mind about the other person for you to think about rather than asking the other person about the matter so that the truth is known and you can reject any wrong thoughts and cast the demon, placing them in your mind , In Jesus’ Name to Jesus to be punished for attacking you, a child of The father.
The focus should always be on the Jesus and not how you feel or think as Satan can manipulate these things and you would not know it was him doing it. Beside if the Will of Jesus is your focus you will not focus on selfish desires and needs but on what He desires you to do in a situation.
We are also to think before we speak so that we speak that which builds up or helps another so that only godly speech comes out of our mouth. We are also not to raise our voices against the other person but to speak quietly and gently as two Christian people should speak to each other.
If you love the other person as God Loves them you will discipline your speech so it is always gentle and soft and not aggressive in any way. Gentle speech is that of a servant. Aggressive speech is that of one who wants to control you.
Remember what Jesus said in Matt 12:36 that we would have to explain to Him why we said anything harsh or wrong in our speech and so we were not to speak unnecessarily (Let your words be few he said).
How you speak to a person will demonstrate the quality of the relationship.