The word ‘husband’ occurs in many other words such as husbandman, and husbandry, all of which refer to one who has care of property on behalf of another. This indicates the role of a husband. He is a steward of the wife, family and possessions (property) God has given him to be steward of.
Stewardship is a natural expression of the Love we have for God. Because we love Him we want to look after the things He gives us. We realise we don’t own them as He is King and owns all things and that we are just caretakers of the things we have been trusted with by Him.
1 Cor 4: 1-2 Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.
You will be accountable to God for how you deal with the steward responsibilities He has given you:
Firstly towards the spiritual knowledge God has given to you an
Secondly to the earthly (family and possessions) responsibilities that you have been trusted with by Him.
How you deal (as a husband) with the family finances: providing and maintaining them, maintaining the home and surroundings, protecting the family. In other words you will be called to account by God for how you deal with your domestic headship as a husband.
How you deal (as a wife) with the way you submit domestically, provide for the needs of the family: keep the house tidy, clean and organised, providing their: spiritual, physical and emotional needs and being a helpmeet to your husband will called to account by God.
Headship is correct stewardship of the wife on behalf of God.
God has given the wife to the husband and the husband to the wife. God has entrusted him with her and her with him. He is a steward of her on God’s behalf and she is a steward of him on God’s behalf. It is required of stewards that they are faithful (1 Cor 4:2).
A wife should obey her husband as a good steward of the domestic relationship with her husband that God has trusted her with. The stewardship is physical (domestic) as a man cannot provide for his wife’s spiritual needs (eternal life, heaven, salvation etc.) He can only encourage her to pursue her relationship with God and provide the physical and emotional security for her to do this.
If the wife disobeys Jesus and does not submit to the domestic authority of husband she is in rebellion against Jesus and God cannot use her or bless her work. Not to submit domestically to headship is not so much to disobey her husband but to disobey Jesus who requires her to submit to her husband domestically. The wife is only required to submit too and respect her husband while a husband is required to love his wife in the way Jesus Loves her.
Jesus governs the spiritual side of the relationship (1 Pet 2:25)and to give a man spiritual authority over a woman is to remove Jesus from his role as spiritual head of the wife and to imply man is spiritual steward of his wife! The man, however, does have a ‘duty of care’ to the woman to encourage and help her develop in her spiritual walk with God. Nowhere has Jesus delegated His spiritual authority over a wife to a husband. He has delegated some authority (over domestic matters) but not this. No one else can delegate this on His behalf so to take Paul’s writing as doing this is wrong! Paul did not have the authority to delegate the authority of Jesus!
The husband is to love his wife and look after her as Jesus looks after His people: self-giving, sacrificial love, placing the needs of his wife before his own needs and to die for her if necessary like Jesus did for us. He is not to encourage her greeds that satisfy her flesh but her needs that keep her alive and help her draw closer to Jesus.
Parents are also stewards of the children trusted to them by God. They are to provide for the needs of their children, guide them in the things of God and teach them how to be good parents themselves as well as how to correctly relate to God and others. They are to teach them about God, how to live the Christian life as well as the skills needed to work and serve Jesus in this world as well as to prepare them to spend eternity with Jesus in heaven.
Life is a continual stewardship of all God trusts us with, which is why Love is so important as it is the basis of all relationships and all godly stewardship.
Stewardship of Sexuality
Men and women are made differently by God and they are to be stewards of their sexuality (their maleness and femaleness) and not just allow it to be transformed in any way to the sexuality of the opposite sex. Satan is trying to do this so that the roles of husband and wife blur and people do not realize the full potential of their sexuality (their maleness and femaleness). There are common roles for men and women but there are also roles men and women are designed to do that are different and only a male or female can successfully do these respective roles.
Two examples that come to mind are fatherhood and motherhood. When the roles are changed there are stresses in the family and headship may not be there. If Satan can blur these roles then headship disappears along with God’s order in the family. This blurring of sexuality is one of the reasons many families are in a mess as each parent does not carry out the role they were designed for (in other words be good stewards of those roles).
We must look after and cultivate that which makes us male or female, uniquely different (our masculinity and femininity), which God has given us to help us in the unique roles He has given us to carry out the different tasks He has ordained as uniquely male or female
This does not mean that the role of one is more important or superior to that of the other but that God has designated what each gender is to do and designed their bodies, temperament and mind to be able to do what God has designed them to do. Each role is important to God and as such has a purpose in His Kingdom and in the marriage.
If he did not need their roles to be different He would not have needed to create woman differently to men.
Good stewardship of your sexuality allows you to carry out your God-given roles in the way He desires you too.
stewardship of a wife’s body
A wife is to respect her husband but if he abuses her seriously in any way she has to leave. She has to protect her body, mind and faith as a steward of these things and is answerable to Jesus for the use of these as He is the one who has sent her to submit to the husband.
She is to respect her husband unless he abuses her and does not show love to her as required. If he abuses her he has broken the marriage agreement and she can leave for the sake of her mind, body, faith and personality.
She is not to divorce but to pray he will repent and be delivered of what he has that makes him that way.
She should have been praying this well before she had to leave and doing spiritual warfare against the demons attacking the marriage.
Stewardship of possessions
Husband and wives have different roles and so have different areas of expertise so when they go shopping they should respect each other’s area of expertise and listen to their spouse as they apply the knowledge they have learned as a result of the role they have in a marriage. Anything to do with food, clothes for the children or housework the wife usually know best. Anything to do with the maintenance or mechanical things of the house the husband usually knows best.
Any purchase is to be approved by The Holy Spirit so that you do not spend more than you should and you will have left what is necessary to do what God desires you to do.
There should be an agreed limit that can be spent without the approval of the other partner being needed. This can be a set limit but varied in respect to a particular item like a vacuum cleaner that may coast more than a limit set of $200 but which the wife has the knowledge to choose so there may be an agreement like:
“Dear go buy a vacuum cleaner. If it costs less then $400 buy it without the need to consult me”.
Darling go buy some groceries for me but don’t buy bread costing more than $4.00
It is assumed she will be guided by The Holy Spirit to what God wants her to buy so that it is not money spent for the sake of pleasure alone but spent in accordance with the Will of God (as all monies should be spent).
Rights in Marriage and forgiveness
If I hold onto my hurts and pain and choose to be offended I am saying I have a right to be offended and to not forgive.
Jesus says you do not have this right to hold onto offences and to not forgive!
By holding onto to this so-called right you are being self-righteous and have made yourself into a god in this area and are in danger of losing your salvation if you do not choose to forgive. Jesus has shown people He has taken to hell Christians who live da good life but would not forgive their spouse a wrong that they had done to them.
In a marriage, no spouse had a right not to forgive through holding onto hurts or offences. Doing this is a form of a ‘holier than thou attitude’ which destroys relationships and is an expression of the self righteous attitude you have chosen to hold onto.
In a marriage you give up all your rights because love has no rights it holds onto to that would stop it expressing love to another. It puts the needs of others before itself and any rights they have that would hinder this are ignored (having usually being suggested by Satan anyway).
Healing can only occur if you forgive and to hold onto your so-called rights stops healing and destroys the marriage.
The is no self-interest in marriage. You are either helping others to realise who they are as Citizens of The Kingdom of God or serving Jesus and expressing His Kingdom in all you do to your spouse and others.
For a marriage to work each spouse must die to self interest and express Jesus in all they do.
Questions by your spouse
A spouse may ask you if you have done something. The first thing to do is not to react as there are a variety of reasons for them asking this question.
They may need to know if it is done so the next stage of the activity dependant on what was done may be started
They may ask so they know it is finished and can show appreciation to you for your doing it for them.
They may need to know so they an ask them to do other things for them.
They may be responsible to God for that area of the family and need to know so that they know their responsibility has been fulfilled on their behalf by you.
They may need the security of knowing you love them and will do things for them so they are secure in your performing your side of the relationship when they need help.
If the spouse is checking for control purposes then they need deliverance in an area.
A spouse who lives their partner does not need to be nagged to do things for her and will tell them if they are unable to and why they are unable too. If a spouse needs to be nagged to do something one or both of them may need deliverance.
Love serves but does not do for another what they should be doing for themself and a spouse who loves their partner will serve them unless they should be doing it and should not have asked their spouse to do it for them.
Only in the correct service of each other is correct stewardship possible